Analysing NFL prospects based on their name
With the conclusion of the super bowl, the NFL moves on to one of the most exciting parts of the year, the NFL draft. In the draft, ex-college players will be chosen by teams who believe that they have the skill to become a great NFL player. There are many ways to analyze prospects, but I think I have developed the best way to do so, to analyse them by name. I have enlisted the help of my friend Kris Wong as we go through NFL prospects and judge them solely on how much we like their names, we have not watched any tape on any of these players and are going in almost completely blind.
Anything that has “M” in front of it was written by me and anything with “K” was written by Kris.
Myles Garrett, DE -M: Love this name. He’ll be a great DE for Cleveland for years to come. 9/10
Leonard Fournette, RB -M: Big fan of this name, I think he can become a top tier RB with a name like this, Leonard is becoming a big name for NFL stars now with Leonard Floyd and Leonard Williams. 8/10
Malik Hooker, S -M: I have changed my mind on this name, Hooker makes for a great allegory for intercepting a ball and that kind of poetry works in my book, he’ll be pretty good. For some reason I’m imagining him as a Raider but don’t quote me on that. 7/10
Dalvin Cook, RB -M: I like this name, I think he’ll go to Carolina or another blue team and make the pro bowl a few times in a solid career. 7.5/10
Marlon Humphrey -M: This name just isn’t doing anything for me, bust. 2/10
Malik McDowell, DL -M: Another Malik, I feel like he’ll go to a quiet AFC team and just exist for his entire career while you forget that he exists. 6/10
Marshaun Lattimore, CB -M: Not a fan of his name, especially the way he spells “Marshaun” because google drive keeps telling me that it’s spelled wrong, future bust. 2/10
Mike McGlinchey -M: I don’t know about this guy, “Mc”s usually don’t end up doing that well in the league, set expectations to low but I can’t predict at this moment. 4/10
Derek Barnett, DE -M: Love this name, I think he’s going to be a major disruptor at DE for his entire career and I could see him going to Tennessee for some reason, maybe it’s the Derek connection with Derrick Henry. 9/10
Jamal Adams, S -M: I like this name, I think he’ll land a solid career and be a borderline pro bowl player.
– K: This name is a great example of the very generic black/white combo. He will either be a complete disaster or pro-bowl level, I see no in-between. 7/10
DeShone Kizer, QB -M: QBs are always the hardest to predict as far as names go, there’s a special blend of uniqueness and familiarity that needs to happen for a QB to have a great name. This here is a bit too unique with the spelling of “DeShone” and having “Kizer” as a last name, I think he’ll be a bust. 4/10
Adoree’ Jackson, CB -M: I can’t tell if this is the worst or best name ever, because that apostrophe is exactly where it should be, but not where it should be phonetically, you know what, I think he’ll be a bust. 3.5/10
Charles Harris, DE -M: I love this name, Charles as a DE calls back to the days of Charles Haley which leads me to think he could end up as a very good DL player who can possibly make a few pro bowls. 8/10
Christian McCaffrey, RB -M: If I could marry names, I would here, Christian McCaffrey just has a great flow and we’ve seen from his father, and former NFL WR Ed, that McCaffrey can work in the NFL, great player. 10/10
-K: Love this name as well.
Zach Cunningham, LB -K: I have a feeling about the last name that Cunningham will be a simply incredible LB. The name Zach doesn’t do much to help or negate from this fact, he will do well, possibly for the Saints? Sounds like a Saints name.
M: You’re absolutely right, I was thinking Saints also. 8/10
Jalen Tabor, CB -K: Great name, flows well, I just don’t see him as a great CB… “And that’s Jalen Tabor breaking up the pass, INcomplete”… No, I don’t see it. Perhaps he changes positions to WR, I think he would be amazing there. 6.5/10
Desmond King -K: THIS is a CB name. I love it. Elite CB coming up 8/10
David Njoku, TE -K: Too strange a last name to pass up, this man will go far. Perhaps not elite, but I’m putting him around the level of Sanu (even though Sanu is a WR). David will be a good TE for some team in the AFC West. 5/10
Sidney Jones, CB -M: Probably be ok, very safe name that could net him a solid if uninspiring career. 5/10
Ryan Ramcyzk, OT -M: I can’t get a good feel for this name since I don’t know how to pronounce it, if it’s pronounced how I think it is, then it could be a solid name. Potential 7/10
Solomon Thomas, DE -M: I’m really having a tough time on this name, I have very little clue on this name, I like Solomon as it’s a very uncommon name, but I just don’t know, I’m going neutral and say that he’ll be slightly above average. 5.5/10
Taco Charlton, DE -M: Do I need to say anything about this name? 7.5/10
By Matthew Braun and Kris Wong