Have you tried turning it off and back on again (a compilation of all the broken things at BHHS)

The new door policy is all kinds of jacked up. There is usually one door unlocked, as if a potential intruder is gonna be like “oh no the door is locked, i’m not gonna try the other door to see if that one’s locked too. Oh well i guess i’ll just go away now.” Plus students open the doors for anyone standing on the other side anyways so it’s still pointless.

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Photos by Cody Grondin

The doors went from always locked, to always unlocked because there aren’t any doors. ASB President Kyu-Hun Lee promised to get the doors open, and technically it happened.

 

The lunch line is about as effective as the US Border Patrol. The amount of people coming over the rope and jamming up the line is about as equal as the amount of people that participated in the March for Science. You would think someone would notice when the rope moves out 4 feet.

 

The vending machines are better at eating your money with no reward than a casino. Either you’re setting it up for someone to get a ton of food, or everyone is gonna get snubbed and someone has to come fix the machine. Besides, is that one whole grain poptart really worth it? The two pack will be restocked eventually anyways. It’s the same price so just wait. Go ahead, put a dollar in, take a risk in your life. NO REFUNDS.

If we ever have a fire from someone’s vape exploding, the fire extinguishers will be pretty easy to grab. Most of the cases don’t even have the glass case anymore. You can just reach right in there, if you’re willing to touch all the food and nastiness that somehow ends up in them all the time.

 

If you like to pretend you’re Forrest Gump running through Vietnam, then the fields of Black Hills are great for you. Complete with mud pits, a patch of grass shaped like a Pacman ghost that can’t seem to get cut, and large holes in the ground, it is safe to say that the fields are as bad as the school smells. Good thing we got that tax money to get turf, oh wait we already had that money once but it got spent on other things because we can’t budget. Then again, we are the school that chose to build a clock tower instead of a stadium when given the choice.


By Cody Grondin

 

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